sylvester barzey

Re-Writing

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Wow, it’s been a while since I sat down and talked to you about myself. It’s easier to talk about horror and writing than it is to let people into my world, but I think for my own personal growth, I have to. 2019 was gonna be my year for really taking off in the writing industry (it’s still gonna be my year, I haven’t given up) I hired a Personal Assistant. I got my cover for book three done. Got feed back for The Realm. Worked on my craft a lot. Read more books and connected with like minded people thanks to my involvement with The Voices of Color Podcast.

All of that and learning advertising was gonna help me finally conquer that hill. Then life hit me and while I was moving forward personally in both my life and day job, my writing goals took a hit. It wasn’t until I got to sit down with my son and just talk about nothing that I decided I need to dig deep and “Rediscover My Why”

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Your “Why” is the driving cause for everything you do. It’s what makes you stand up and take a leap when you know for a fact, there is no one there to catch you and no one has ever jumped this far before.

My “Why” seemed to have gotten lost while I was writing and becoming involved with the writing community. A lot of the topics in most groups is about making money, which is 100% fine but I guess at some point my mind got wrapped around that and I forgot making money was only one of the steps to my overall happiness. I want to be a successful writer so I can work on my own time and spend as much time as I can with my family, namely my son Ayden.

Ayden has autism and is non-verbal. Yet, me and him sit down and get lost in each other for hours. He likes to watch me laugh and say the ABC’s in a demonic voice. I love to watch him run in terror from a talking bear and sing Old McDonald as he tries to run from one side of the room to the other. He’s my best friend and he loves to stay up late and wake up early, which is a nightmare for my wife. As I get dressed in the morning for the day job I think about all the adventures he’s going to have without me and all the things I’m going to miss.

This year is his final year at home before he starts school and the thought of him going off to school makes my heart skip ten fucking beats. I really want to home school him, but that’s a lot of pressure to put on my wife. It’s easy to say “Sit down and work with him on his numbers” while I’m at work interacting with adults and my peers. I know my wife can do it, I just don’t want her to do it alone.

I love writing and I think I’m pretty damn good at it and I’m only getting better. So, using writing as my side hustle to end my day job and be able to teach and watch my son grow just made sense to me. I’m not sure why I even wrote this, I guess it’s been rolling around in my mind and I just wanted to finally get it out. My “Why” is Ayden and for him I’ll work any job, I’ll write any story, and I’ll push any mountain to ensure I’ll have the ability to be with him and watch him grow, every moment of everyday.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have any home schooling, writing, or daddy tips of any kind, leave them in the comments below. Also don’t forget to join my newsletter so you can learn more about my work and my boring life.

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